Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
