Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
