Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
