Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize