It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
