sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
only if we run a train.
done.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
