Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
being pregnant is like rehab
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
