ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
