I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
