someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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