Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
