He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
