Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
