Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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