apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
