I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
