FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
