i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
