Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
