I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
