If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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