Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
