How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize