apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
