Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
