Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize