very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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