hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How naked do you want me to be?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
