her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
