before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize