she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
