Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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