hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you didnt know i had herpes?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
