no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
