No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
