Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
