i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
