I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
