I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
