we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
