And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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