This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
