We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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