ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
