i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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