Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
