i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I need mimosas to revive my soul
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
