I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
