dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
