I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
