when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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