I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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