They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
