BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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