I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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