His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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