My room smells like vodka and shame
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Come on in and take your pants off
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