Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
