Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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